tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79439272012-02-16T06:03:42.614-05:00"It's strange to have a creation out there, a deeply mutated version of yourself, running loose and screwing everything up. I wonder if this is how parents feel."Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.comBlogger3981100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-79129119130296561502008-06-04T15:45:00.000-04:002008-06-04T15:45:51.870-04:00

My 400th post here in the B-World Blog. Holy crap.It's taken me almost four years to get here. That's four hurricanes, four digital cameras, three jobs, three Gator National Championship titles, countless threats of bitchslapping, $240 worth of pudding, one amazing fiance, and one timeless joke about the Greek Army, to get to right here, right now. Yikes.The irony of me going through yet

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-21985467812111120972008-03-20T19:38:00.004-04:002008-03-20T20:16:18.231-04:00

We're rounding out Week Two of this season's epic battle with bronchitis (I actually went home early yesterday and proceeded to spend much of last night coughing, which resulted in my waking up this morning with my well-hidden abdominal muscles afire). I elected to stay home today, where much of my schedule was as follows:1.) Take medicine.2.) Sleep.3.) Become conscious enough to realize I

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-16873550736541511782008-03-12T13:46:00.006-04:002008-03-12T14:50:01.437-04:00

Found a gem at Every Day Should Be Saturday. I can't really align myself with the Stuff White People Like (although I totally dig on shorts, dogs, Arrested Development, having black friends, t-shirts, and grad school, and I'm quite certain I'll love Juno... maybe it can be "Stuff White People Like, and Brown People Have Been Known to Like Some of This Stuff, Too"?), so this is as close as I'm

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-58116838518759517922008-03-06T11:48:00.004-05:002008-03-12T13:31:31.214-04:00

I have the feeling that I may have to escape the office during lunch.I have been fighting a sore throat and general malaise since yesterday. This morning, I woke up with a cough that leaves my throat feeling raw, along with the unmovable urge to stay in bed. I went to work anyway, where I was greeted with at least six e-mails all asking for the impossible, along with the distinct stench of

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-23910737351059487352008-02-29T13:56:00.005-05:002008-03-02T23:08:12.045-05:00

Sorry, but since they've been talking about it on Armsweat's little slice of blog heaven, I can't get it out of my head. That shit is good.Takin' it higher and higher!That's all I really wanted to do: post an image of Christopher Meloni pelvic-thrusting his way through a montage of nothing but comedic gold. The man is an inspiration.

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-13725663931309939432008-02-26T13:44:00.005-05:002008-02-27T21:37:18.900-05:00

Or I'm trying to avoid work/wedding planning/everything else. Yes, probably that.I just signed up for that Grand Central business you see in the form of the "Call Me!" button to your right. Apparently, you plug in your phone number, and the system calls you and connects you to my assigned phone number or voice mail. And it's all free. I have yet to get a phone call in this manner; probably

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-47308030852824488152008-02-22T01:17:00.002-05:002008-02-26T13:09:11.593-05:00

Despite the fact that in the past six days, any and all talk of wedding planning has made me want to commit "quality matricide," as Buffy would put it, I have to share just a small thing before I retire for the evening.Moments ago, I asked my mom what the heck she was still doing up at this hour. She then dutifully informed me that she was watching America's Best Dance Crew. An entire episode.

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-13586152495947739652008-02-19T12:28:00.003-05:002008-02-19T13:33:38.683-05:00

Okay, because I promised, here are a few pictures. I only mananged to salvage a couple from Perla's stellar photo shoot (see entry about my mom vs. electronics), especially because she kept insisting that instead of looking into the camera, we should "Look at the ring! Look at the ring!"I refuse to call my ring anything even remotely sounding like "My Precious." And yes, I do realize that my

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-83874877881321783932008-02-15T23:59:00.003-05:002008-02-16T00:03:32.815-05:00

Okay, long story short, because I'm exhausted from this day. And I promise I will elaborate and include photos (assuming I can get the auto-focus on the camera right), but I just had to share this with you, dear friends.Ben asked me to marry him this evening, and I said yes!Now, I am going to try to sleep. Very little of that happening lately. Wonder why that is?

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-88543535232722599852008-02-12T23:15:00.003-05:002008-02-12T23:26:13.161-05:00

And in honor of one particular Tacky Blog Lady from the Tri-State Area, I present to you... Mr. Vartan:Please, Hammer, don't hurt 'em.Carry on, dears. Carry on.

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-48859733828602543792008-02-11T23:13:00.001-05:002008-02-12T23:27:15.902-05:00

Today, I was being a dutiful daughter. My mom is going to participate with the church choir again after a year's hiatus, so she has started attending practices for the Easter Vigil mass. It so happens that these practices are on Monday nights, during the same time that Ben and I attend a class nearby. So, it only made sense for us to drop her off at practice, then pick her up after class.Upon

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-20736836036331645322008-02-08T11:25:00.000-05:002008-02-11T23:12:11.988-05:00

Lately, instead of calling perturbing people fucksticks or douche nozzles (or just "nozzles," for brevity's sake) under my breath, I'm calling them dirtbags. It's just been in the past few days, and I think it's because I can't get the following joke out of my head:What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?The location of the dirtbag.Oh, well. It'll probably pass when the word "

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-14091289463003388342008-02-06T15:59:00.000-05:002008-02-06T23:08:48.116-05:00

It's the middle of the week, and things couldn't be going slower. I've got less than three hours left at the office, and it seems like it took forever to get to this very moment...As I typed the above statement, everything started happening at once. It is now 3:00, and I have an hour left here. In the past two hours, I have helped a patient apply for assistance through two different

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-56510985986332241822008-02-06T12:44:00.000-05:002008-02-07T22:48:58.363-05:00

I've got Alias: The Best of Seasons 1 through 5 churning on my Zune as I take a minor break from work duties to post this, and it's making me want to don a wig and start beating on people (in a stealthy manner, of course).Who doesn't love dress-up, money in briefcases, and espionage mustaches? I mean, really?I promise, I will return in a bit to discuss the disaster area that is my house,

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-9710684006181406282008-02-06T09:15:00.000-05:002008-02-06T11:16:37.353-05:00

Oddly enough, I don't have any really good ones for being absent so long (yet again)... I thought of perhaps taking the stance that my web silence was in quiet support of the striking writers; but we all know that one has absolutely nothing to do with the other, and it would also mean I'm taking my verbal shenanigans way too seriously. So, out of respect for striking writers, I will not use them

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-83520289418550216252007-09-22T21:27:00.000-04:002007-09-23T00:14:15.880-04:00

Today was just a big ball of pain and punishment. First off, I got up early to go to the Dirt Mall to get a new case for the phone, only to find that there apparently no people staffing their booths laden with open and easily accessible merchandise at 8:30 in the morning. This would not have been so terrible if I had not made a point to wake up early on a Saturday to haul my cookies down to the

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-74576045981062148352007-09-18T10:23:00.000-04:002007-09-18T15:08:31.993-04:00

So little time at work to sneak in a blog post, and once I get said time, I forget what the hell there is to say. Getting old totally sucks.I am really enjoying my new workplace. I started this job in April, and I really like the people I work with, having regular hours, the interaction with the patients. It is so not like the last place, where I wanted to gouge my eyes out with the closest

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-61310198453450044212007-08-17T15:35:00.000-04:002007-08-17T15:51:32.907-04:00

Because I am blogging from work. Not even from my phone, but from an actual computer. I'm rebelling against The Establishment quite brazenly, and it feels oh-so-invigorating, gentle readers!It's been so long. I don't even really have anything to post. I don't even know what to post. I am merely brushing off the dust and cobwebs from my already enfeebled mind, and I'm itching to get back to

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-38788929830781346332007-05-07T22:43:00.000-04:002007-05-20T20:00:31.276-04:00

Not really. I was just feeling a bit dramatic, is all.Anyway, I open the inbox to find not even one piece of male enlargement spam (which is a relief, considering the whole "Use your dick to hit people!!!" Debacle of '04).(By the way, Lisa, still want a commemorative t-shirt? 'Cause we could still totally do that.)However, I did find a message stating I had a comment on MySpace, and the comment

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-32997088477016287832007-04-22T21:34:00.000-04:002007-04-23T16:32:09.369-04:00

So, it turns out that the horrid hacking, congestion, and lung spasms I have been enduring for the past week or so wasn't the black lung after all. Well, shit. A sick day from work (which I hate taking only three weeks into a new job) and a fabulous visit to the walk-in clinic later (where, no lie, the guy ahead of us in line was daubing at a wound on his knee with a paper towel, and looked as

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-43141099483709249582007-03-28T13:57:00.000-04:002007-03-28T21:09:59.464-04:00

And now, as is my duty, I present to you my Report on 7 Songs I am Into Right Now:"Trogdor," by Strongbad. Since Ben has been catching up on all seasons of Buffy, the reference to Trogdor in Season 7 made me all nostalgic. Besides, there's nothing wrong with "burninating the countryside." Or the peasants, for that matter."Curiosity," by the Jets. Yes, you'd think that maybe "Crush On You" or

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-88191326464701221552007-03-15T23:34:00.000-04:002007-03-16T00:07:12.502-04:00

Amongst other things, it's the text message I received from her at 11:15 this evening:Ha ha. Duke can kiss my ass!Weird thing is, I was thinking the exact same thing at that very moment.

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-85156126874095059682007-02-25T22:35:00.000-05:002008-02-06T11:44:13.984-05:00

Go ahead, raise your hand if you know this one. Anyone. Anyone but Dan, who damn sure already knows it.Anyone?Oh, for the love of Heart-Kun, people!Heart-Kun is not angry. No, he is merely...disappointed.You all suck.

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-12328763740376954892007-02-12T23:25:00.000-05:002007-02-18T01:21:11.377-05:00

Okay, thought of something to write about.The other day, Ben and I were at the Dirt Mall. Apparently, at the Dirt Mall way south of us that we never go to, they now have a little stage for either a live band, or... wait for it... karaoke.I know, it's blowing your mind, the possibilities. I just heard Danhole's head exploding somewhere north of here. Anyway, I think they were doing karaoke when

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-2669101710401821882007-02-12T21:33:00.000-05:002007-02-12T21:44:28.243-05:00

I know, it's been a while since I've posted a lyrical blog title, but I still have 13 Going On 30 on the brain from a few weeks ago. You'll have to forgive.I have often found myself doing the same thing. Except without the really expensive dress. Or the bod. Crap.Anyway, I've been spending the last few weeks thinking about blogging, so that should count for something. I've been otherwise

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-88342358165944547602007-01-30T22:03:00.000-05:002007-02-12T23:21:57.677-05:00

Man, do I ever miss that show.Every time I see Thomas Lennon, or Michael Ian Black, I hearken back to Barry and Levon. I just have to. When will they put that shit out on DVD, already?Okay, enough of the complaining. For now. I'm just so tired. And I'm debating whether or not I should post a response bulletin for the "What does your middle name mean?" brilliance lengli posted this evening.

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-23193590317275255922007-01-23T22:58:00.000-05:002007-01-29T23:05:41.778-05:00

I swear, my main mission for the day was two-fold: get through work without killing anyone, and ending my evening watching 13 Going On 30, because, well, dammit, the day's here, and I owe it to myself. I also miss seeing La Garfleck on my tele on a regular basis, but that's neither here nor there.Oh, come on. You know you miss them.Alas, things didn't pan out exactly the way I had hoped. I did

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-63129343664588072382007-01-22T23:33:00.000-05:002007-01-23T00:08:25.610-05:00

So yes, I could have spent the evening ogling much Prison Break goodness, or doing something otherwise productive, but instead, I chose to fidget with my blog template settings. What do I get for my troubles? Oh, the inability to have my comments posted correctly, as well as a stiff neck (couldn't find the headset for the phone while I was doing all this).But, I did get that cool picture thrown

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-65321509239541995312007-01-22T19:29:00.000-05:002007-01-22T23:32:52.733-05:00

I know. I know. I've been MIA ever since the National Championship game. Suffice it to say, I watched the game, lost my voice by halftime, and took the next day off. I didn't even really get my voice back until I went back into work on Wednesday.Because after all, victory... is exhausting.Perhaps a more complete photo retrospective will be forthcoming. We'll see.For now, I'm going to go

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-25924662161243139862007-01-07T00:11:00.000-05:002007-01-07T00:13:38.939-05:00

Soon.

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-42184170875860109202006-12-26T22:17:00.000-05:002007-01-03T00:27:12.492-05:00

And so, we conclude yet another Christmas Holiday with my family, complete with all the ensuing drama that comes with shopping like an idiot, encountering relatives and other people you don't see all year who routinely question your sexuality and/or your ability to produce viable grandchildren, and shoveling food into your face until you've gotten way past critical mass.Makes me long for the days

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-17837495499900271702006-12-24T23:04:00.000-05:002006-12-24T23:10:40.224-05:00

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1166504910713402702006-12-18T23:38:00.000-05:002007-01-03T00:18:26.115-05:00

I know, I've stooped to trite, pun-like depths. Leave me be.Bless me, Blogger, for I have sinned. It has been two full weeks since my last post.I'm so damned beat lately. Christmas shopping, trying not to explode at work, weekends blowing by, and coming to the realization that I want to be back in the mental health profession yesterday will apparently do that to you.I'm feeling really random

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1165290481879728362006-12-04T19:45:00.000-05:002006-12-24T23:07:19.792-05:00

I had this wicked long post (with pictures) late, late Saturday night, after I got home from the evening's festivities, all about the championship game. It was exceptional. It was moving. It had pictures of stalwart football players.It, for some reason, would not save on Blogger. Fahk."What do you mean, it won't autosave? Bastards!!!"It's just as well. Posting it now means you'll read it in

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1165195631571944542006-12-03T20:19:00.000-05:002006-12-24T23:07:49.425-05:00

Oh, my Lord... The Gators are going to the National Championship Game!2006 SEC Champs! It hath been too long!I cannot even express in words the excitement, the anticipation, the stomach-churning anxiety that is coursing through my body right now. So, I won't. I'm going to watch the talking heads babble about the BCS and all that business, whilst I feel my crush on Kirk Herbstreit dwindle into

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1164951779288077302006-12-01T00:19:00.000-05:002006-12-24T23:08:45.582-05:00

Last weekend, Ben and I went to the hospital to visit a friend of mine. He hadn't met this friend yet, and looking back on it, I was probably a bit of a nozzle for making him meet her in the hospital of all places (I mean, come on, you meet up at the movies, or for dinner, but while someone is strapped to an IV and has a commode chair somewhere within a five foot radius? Man, I am an asshole).

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1164684760948838832006-11-27T21:13:00.000-05:002006-12-24T23:09:23.705-05:00

So, does this make it the first Unofficial Pocket Vaughn/Poche de Michaux/Michael Vartan Day? 'Cause I don't see any lengli Photoshop Goodness (TM) around here. I mean, hell, even Bateman got a border and some stars, no?It appears okay with Michael. Hey, we're okay if you're okay. So long as you continue giving us beautific profile shots. And so long as you stay just French enough to not be a

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1164517634459051012006-11-26T00:03:00.000-05:002006-12-24T23:09:48.411-05:00

I'm just going to post a picture today. Now, I have to warn you, some of you gentle readers may get emotional upon seeing this image, but fret not. Don't cry. It is moving, but it is wonderful, and we're all going to get through it.Jim, you in particular, should sit down and have a Kleenex handy, okay? Here goes:Sheer joy knows no bounds!

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1164172916577876282006-11-21T23:27:00.000-05:002006-12-26T22:48:35.036-05:00

I mean, look. I've not touched B. World for two full weeks. I could give excuses, but comparatively speaking, mine are not as good as others'. I couldn't come up with good reasons, like teaching the masses by way of Nicollette Sheridan, or getting married (so, sorry, dear cousins, but your almost annual bloodlust for taffeta and similar atrocities must yet go unsatisfied).Sure, a lot of my

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1162874061467262622006-11-06T23:19:00.000-05:002006-12-26T22:49:38.034-05:00

There are many things to thank lengli for, not the least of which is this:The Third Annual Unofficial Jason Bateman Day!I've never participated in one of these (knowingly, anyway) before, so I'm quite excited. Nothing beats a Bateman! Well, maybe except for live-action Pocket Vaughn.Hey, lengli, does Michaux de Poche have his own unofficial day? Because it' s definitely something to

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1162426405239940252006-11-01T18:40:00.000-05:002006-12-26T22:50:37.276-05:00

Yeah, I'm thinking of doing the lyrical blog title thing again. Humor me.I have to share something really quick before I feast on a dinner of potato chips and onion dip something random from the fridge.There are many reasons my brother, the Sideshow, is the bomb, not the least of which is his ability to suck down large portions of food at an impressive rate, then bitch about how he doesn't feel

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1161661640872440512006-10-30T23:25:00.000-05:002006-12-26T22:51:37.457-05:00

So, this entry logging the sordid details of my banal life was originally a draft from the 23rd. And I was going to post all this random shit. But for some reason, all the random shit I listed wouldn't "auto-save" or whatever in Blogger, so whenever I'd log in to finish and finally post that entry from the 23rd, I'd always be shown nothing but the entry title. I took this, after the third time

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1161224867973206542006-10-18T22:26:00.000-04:002006-12-26T22:52:55.022-05:00

But it had to be done.You are officially "On Notice":Don't make the Colbert angry...

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1161144504516472432006-10-17T23:28:00.000-04:002006-12-26T22:53:30.636-05:00

It was another craptacular day at work. Even more calls today from irate people who will blame anyone who will listen for all that ails them. The main issue I found today was that most of the jackballs I spoke to today had problems answering simple and direct questions.Me: Are you having problems with your system, sir?He: The patient's number is 123-45-6789Y.Me: Sir, did you try to use your

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1161054677478518612006-10-16T23:10:00.000-04:002006-12-26T22:57:17.412-05:00

I thank the stars that I managed to make it through today at work. The workload has gotten crazier and crazier in the past few weeks, and I'm doing my best to look for opportunities in my chosen field again. This, of course, is unsurprisingly difficult (after all, why would something happen easily for me?), but, I do it nonetheless.I guess the good thing about being busy at work is that I have

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1160972373907639342006-10-15T23:53:00.000-04:002006-12-26T22:56:09.340-05:00

So, football-wise, this weekend sucked for me. BIG TIME. But, we perservere, and hopefully, in two weeks, I will be posting about a resounding victory at The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party(TM before they tried to wuss it down to sound less, well... alcoholic. But you get the idea).For now, I am going to attempt to cheer myself with happier thoughts, as well as post the following,

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1160624205284220712006-10-11T23:35:00.000-04:002006-12-26T22:56:39.550-05:00

Armsweat and Lengli, this is just for the two of you:EDSBS Mustache Wednesday: Yet another reason to love college football.Sorry, I just had to. Kisses!

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1160363671745665572006-10-11T23:14:00.000-04:002006-12-26T22:58:04.430-05:00

So, there was this conversation the other day regarding the strength or intensity of... well, something. And the other participant in this conversation described something as "Cena strong," as in John Cena, the professional wrestler.I know. Lots of wrasslin' in this blog as of late. Although, I have always preferred to refer to it as "homoerotic grappling," or "Danhole's soaps."This got me to

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1160348561574889692006-10-08T19:02:00.000-04:002006-12-26T22:58:43.325-05:00

I hadn't watched an episode of South Park in quite a while, but yesterday, after watching the fine football stylings of the Gators beating LSU, Danhole played this week's "Make Love, Not Warcraft" episode for us. Yes, there were plenty of other football games to be had. But, in all fairness, one can only watch South Carolina play Kentucky for so long without wanting to stab themselves.

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1160021860510576542006-10-05T20:53:00.000-04:002006-12-26T22:59:19.597-05:00

Since I've posted a picture of Michael. How I have missed him!Slightly maniacal grin; but somewhere, Benjamin Harrison is daubing his forehead.Okay, now I feel slightly better.

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1160022507153798542006-10-04T22:28:00.000-04:002006-12-26T22:59:56.153-05:00

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1159939059831801342006-10-03T23:50:00.000-04:002006-12-26T23:00:31.109-05:00

Today is my dear friend Timothy's birthday. It is also my little man Ryan's birthday. Tim, I think you are about twenty years older than Ryan. Does that make you feel exceptionally old?Yes, that Ryan of "removable fingertip trick" fame!Ah, probably not. I'll bet Tim is sitting somewhere in China, working and not giving a shit.Anyway, I just wanted to show both birthday boys some love on their

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1159496339066456182006-09-28T20:33:00.000-04:002006-12-26T23:01:25.426-05:00

And L... and K... and, oh hell, myself:Just wanted to share a special moment, is all."Oh, it's true. It's damned true!"If you need me, I'll be quietly weeping tears of joy and shame in the corner. The joy: for the obvious reason posted above. The shame: for citing anything attributable to Kurt Angle.I can't even bring myself to post a picture of Ric Flair in my defense.I know, I know. Leave

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1159417748114278952006-09-28T00:23:00.000-04:002006-12-26T23:01:56.521-05:00

When you're inexplicably roaming a Wal-Mart near York, PA, it's two in the morning on a Thursday/Friday/Saturday, and you've already stocked up on all the clearance item winter clothing and DVDs of The Golden Child you can find?You take pictures of stuffed animals in sexually suggestive positions, apparently.The above is a result of too much time, too much caffeine, and Grant's obsessive love of

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1158894926045962792006-09-21T23:14:00.000-04:002006-12-26T23:02:17.692-05:00

For the best... song... ever.Enjoy!And don't say I never gave you anything!

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1158812662430770552006-09-20T23:55:00.000-04:002006-10-17T18:57:18.596-04:00

You guessed it: I'm going to keep doing this lyrics-as-blog-titles shit until you say "uncle." Or some other word that makes me stop doing it.Never mind that I've got all kinds of weird word association going on in my head when I think of the term "uncle" in relation to a plea for mercy or relief. Probably best not to go down that road.I've got a lot of random stuff going through the cranium

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1158633215525700182006-09-18T21:50:00.000-04:002006-09-19T21:53:39.526-04:00

Another day, another weekend of football past. I nearly passed out this weekend while watching that game. Well, call it a combination of passing out and getting into a bar fight, if you must.I'll admit, it was a little touch and go for a bit. We were behind for so long! And officiating on both sides... don't get me started.I especially got testy after this:Listen to Gary, you choad. 'Cause

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1158325753442931642006-09-15T09:09:00.000-04:002006-09-15T09:15:37.803-04:00

Ah, yet another glorious Friday morning! I've already ingested a couple of cans of Code Red and logged onto MySpace, all from the comfort and convenience of my cubicle in the seventh layer of hell. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.Yeah, MySpace. I got on there a couple of years ago because a friend of mine from the old job insisted that I check out his profile. I left it alone up until

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1158023662755653202006-09-12T00:04:00.000-04:002006-09-12T20:02:58.846-04:00

So, after taking the day off on Friday to see a new opthalmologist (as the last one was Admiral Jackball,) I spent all day Saturday in the throes of Gator Football. It was hot as hell all day, and clouds rolled in and thunder rumbled right before kickoff, but luckily, we were spared both a deluge or the Polish Prince getting struck by lightning.It was so hot when Danhole and I rolled into

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1157518228020754072006-09-06T00:41:00.000-04:002006-09-08T11:04:34.133-04:00

The blog entry titles go all to hell after watching brand new Nip/Tuck. My apologies.So, I've noticed I've been horrible at blogging lately. I was gone for a couple of weeks on vacay, and managed to get a couple of measly entries in, but the rest of my time was taken up swimmin' in young ones, getting nagged about when I was going to spawn, and, well, not working. It was terriff!Long story

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1157241404562654042006-09-02T08:22:00.000-04:002006-09-02T20:09:22.576-04:00

The season starts today. It's the 100th year of Gator Football. If you need me, I'm going to be in a college football coma until December.I want a lot more of this throughout the season, fellas!Urban keeping his pimp hand strong.A pic of Riley in her #12 jersey? Possibly later this weekend.

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1156481016005162102006-08-25T00:43:00.000-04:002006-08-25T13:45:40.220-04:00

Seriously. I'm leaving that shit to my mom. She's ridiculously lucky when it comes to playing the slots. I, on the other hand, seem to just throw money into the dread machines, just to say "Ooh. Bye-bye!" and wave at my already gone lucre twenty minutes later. I also have a problem with quitting while I'm ahead. I wandered over from where Leviathan was playing poker (that's another entry

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1155995661307487372006-08-19T01:54:00.000-04:002006-08-19T09:58:14.160-04:00

This will be my first attempt at using uBlog to post, so bear with me.Today's travel was almost hitch-free. We were slowed by an immense amount of traffic on the runway at PHL. According to our pilot, there was a lot of construction at the airport, so planes were getting in line to get to their respective gates. He then told us "There's only one way in, and one way out." For some reason, this

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1155836616838037762006-08-17T13:26:00.000-04:002006-08-17T13:46:38.526-04:00

I think I'm just about ready for my jaunt up North. I did most of my packing last night, although I can't guarantee any of my ensembles will match. I simply pulled out a stack of clean shirts and shorts and threw them in the suitcase. At this point, I can only hope for the best.Blogger has been so kind as to commence cooperating with the SuperPhone, so I may be able to post text, albeit sparse

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1155699555981800212006-08-16T00:03:00.000-04:002006-08-16T01:18:05.923-04:00

I am setting foot on hallowed ground on Friday, as my long-overdue vacay takes me to the wilds of New Jersey ("God's Country," really). Not only am I going to be taking time away from those chuckleheads at the Seventh Layer of Hell, I will be indulging in quality family time, as well as swimming in infants (almost literally). Let's not forget quality time to be spent with Leviathan, as well the

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1155248356390098462006-08-10T14:19:00.000-04:002006-08-10T20:23:31.153-04:00

It was my fault for turning on Adult Contemporary radio yesterday, I suppose. Because now, I've had "My Own Worst Enemy" in my head for the past two days.That song inevitably takes me back to the memory of actually buying the Lit album (David's reasoning was that it was a new release on sale for seven bucks, dude!), and only really playing that song, because that was the song everyone liked

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1155153443598497502006-08-09T14:27:00.000-04:002006-08-09T16:04:46.000-04:00

My psychological well-being dictates that I find a new job, and quickly.I think that one of the things making me crazy is the whole "customer is always right" idea. Because clearly, they're not. And in this particular field, it is grossly apparent, and it almost seems like these "customers" are arrogant about it. They are unwilling to accept that everything we tell them is government-mandated

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1155089663280315832006-08-08T22:12:00.000-04:002006-08-09T18:05:01.973-04:00

Ah, the joys of YouTube. It allows me to not only post my soundless video of the boys waverunning in South Carolina, but to post great flashbacks of joy like this:I mean, there's something for everyone here, including my mom.Friggin' Columbo and shit. Jack should've taken him out, Wolvie-berserk style.

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1154913624653420762006-08-06T20:52:00.000-04:002006-08-09T18:05:38.323-04:00

For those of you not into college football, please disregard this post. But come back soon, because I miss you already!Now, there are three links that are wonderful for those of you who are into the Saturday Showdowns (and no, I'm not referring to Saturday Night's Main Event, so put your hand down, Danhole. And quit fidgeting!).I'm not even going to call out the male friend of ours who

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1154688879323143792006-08-03T23:48:00.000-04:002006-08-04T06:55:45.816-04:00

Just so you know, today is Riley's birthday. After my craptacular day at work, I came home to a celebration that included her having a fancy cruller for birthday cake (I think she's expecting a birthday cake from her Uncle Danhole later,) and much cavorting.No poodles were swung in the making of this birthday frolic.After all this celebration, which culminated this evening with a brand new

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1154399842930781992006-07-31T20:23:00.000-04:002006-07-31T22:37:23.096-04:00

"They don't care what's glued on to the other side; all they see is ass!"That's what I get for flipping through the channels and passing Dog: The Bounty Hunter.Speaking of dogs, I must tell you about the weirdest thing to happen in front of my house since Patterson turned into sales associate of the year at our garage sale.Friday, the next door neighbor who has a spotty history of taking care

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1154229460377795192006-07-30T23:16:00.000-04:002006-07-31T00:07:28.916-04:00

Fraulein N was kind enough to remind me that I was going to write about the time I saw Brokeback Mountain. And, to be honest, it wasn't going to be so much of a review as an anecdote. So, Fraulein, I hope I don't disappoint.(However, the likelihood is high that I have already, many times over and in many other situations, so... just chalk this up as another one of my things. Come on, you love

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1155256849576312812006-07-30T20:37:00.000-04:002006-08-10T20:41:54.956-04:00

Ah, Joe, you ripe bastard, it's your birthday. And we're getting old. And you're probably not even going to this blog anymore, so I can say whatever the hell I want to. I can talk about all that embarrassing shit from back in the day. I can even make shit up.But, I probably shouldn't, since most of that embarrassing stuff had to do with me. Come to think of it, most of that embarrassing

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1154093262099256202006-07-28T09:02:00.000-04:002006-07-28T09:27:42.203-04:00

Yesterday was slow, but with the wicked thunderstorm swirling about, it didn't seem like it. The power went out twice (of course, the phones stayed on the entire time), and I could hear the crackling of thunder and lightning through my headset. I was almost hoping for a freak power problem so we could get off the phones or go home early.No such luck. Fignuts.Today I woke up with that strange

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1153796460643804702006-07-25T18:53:00.000-04:002006-07-26T18:13:58.550-04:00

So, I don't find myself going to the cinema much these days, because I'm usually broke as shit and trying to do the whole "budgeting as part of a plan to keep my life in order" thing. Funny, since I generally find both of these things overrated from time to time.Well, you know my happy ass couldn't stay away from Clerks II on opening weekend. And if I were still in college, this would've been a

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1153451632895882012006-07-20T22:25:00.000-04:002006-07-26T18:34:42.193-04:00

I get the distinct notion that I may have difficulty sleeping tonight.Since I've been at this dread job, I have tried to curb my caffeine intake for a number of reasons; most notably, the fact that I have less freedom to roam and pee when necessary as I had at my previous employment (mark yet another one down for the "why being a therapist kicks the living shit out of this job/oh dear God, have I

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1153192060770504622006-07-18T19:46:00.000-04:002006-07-18T19:41:03.890-04:00

I mean, I just found the original picture, and as grainy as it is (thanks, Patterson) , I am so itching to post it in all its glory.But until that time, let me entertain you with another fabulous YouTube gem: the video for JJS's favorite song to sing along to in the car whilst the landscapers eyeball her semi-lewdly: JC's All Day Long I Dream About Sex.Not to be confused with ADIDAS, as the

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1153248352563985212006-07-18T14:03:00.000-04:002006-07-18T14:47:43.036-04:00

Ugh. I made the mistake of eating breadsticks with my slice of pseudo-pizza, then washing it down with a vat of diet goodness. Now, I feel absolutely beached. Add to that the fact that I've spent literally the last half hour trying to explain the concept of the scroll bar to a client, and I'm ready to 'splode.Just thought I'd share.

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1153182231737381692006-07-17T18:44:00.000-04:002006-07-17T20:42:13.360-04:00

I'm debating whether or not I should try to post the song lyrics as titles (since it went so fabulously the last time I did it... I know, crickets chirping like the night they debuted Teen Witch in the theaters).(Actually, I don't know why I made that comparison. And I don't know if Teen Witch ever did present in the cinemas. How dare I besmirch the name of Dan Gauthier?)"OMG, Smackadocious, I

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1152760951106686942006-07-12T22:13:00.000-04:002006-07-12T23:26:12.490-04:00

Yes, I may be getting a tad excited about Clerks II coming out in a little more than a week. I just saw some pictures from the premiere and all the old favorites showed, of course, including the cast and crew of the film. I saw Eliza attended, as well. It always warms the cockles of my heart to see her anywhere (or does it warm the Dushkockles of my heart? Only your bartender knows for sure).

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1152672352696451612006-07-11T20:30:00.000-04:002006-07-11T22:45:52.793-04:00

Sorry. I just saw part of an episode of RW/RR Challenge: Fresh Meat, and Tonya (a.k.a. "Walla Walla Kidney Stones/Walla Walla Can't Go To Work!") says the above while looking like she's about to cry/stab a large piece of fruit, repeatedly. I just thought it was funny. I know it's useless without a picture, but damned if I'm posting a picture of Walla Walla and sullying the ambience of Banana

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1152630541378244002006-07-11T09:39:00.000-04:002006-07-11T11:09:01.496-04:00

Since the air conditioning is shot in our office this morning, I am sitting in a sweatlodge of epic proportions right now. This would not be so bad if it weren't already as humid as a a bag of asses straight out of the sauna, and I didn't have all these old codgers sucking up my air and exhaling their putrid melancholy (which smells oddly of coffee and Benson & Hedges).(I'm telling you, this

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1152496150255758402006-07-09T21:17:00.000-04:002006-07-09T21:49:10.420-04:00

I got a lot done this morning. After the post, I did go shopping for outfits to bring my cousins' kids when I wing my way to the E.H.T. ("Egg Harbor Township in the house"?) late next month. I would post pics of the outfits (which totally rule, by the by) here, but 1)I don't want to ruin the surprise, and 2)I know that 75% percent of the people reading this don't give a shit about baby/kid

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1152463111258904402006-07-09T09:33:00.000-04:002006-07-09T21:16:09.386-04:00

After reading about Chicago's influence on Lisa's Friday, I went down the short list of memories I have related to Chicago (that of "Hard to Say I'm Sorry," "If You Leave Me Now," and "You're the Inspiration" fame, not the town). To wit:Grantasm, the Messianic, and I scream-singing NFG's cover of "Glory of Love" (which, technically, was Peter Cetera, and not all of Chicago, but why split hairs

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1152160483387226302006-07-06T00:34:00.000-04:002006-07-06T00:34:43.393-04:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1151900031203872962006-07-05T22:43:00.000-04:002006-07-06T20:17:39.916-04:00

I've had this blog for almost two years, and I haven't done one of those "100 Things About Me" lists yet, so what the hell, right?However, because I am feeling just that spry, I will be presenting you with 77 Things About Me instead. Why? Because I can. And I'm asserting my independence.(Yeah, didn't think I could find a shitty transition in time for the holiday, did you?)I'm right-handed.

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1151893801729837672006-07-02T21:47:00.000-04:002006-07-02T22:31:23.436-04:00

I spent a lot of time today running around like an idiot. Then I didn't. Then when it came time for me to leave the house again, it started raining like crazy, so I couldn't get out. And the lightning spooked my dog a bit, but not nearly as much as the fireworks that shook the house a few hours later. I just got done calming the poor little one down.Of course, that usually entails watching

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1151377379370314112006-06-28T21:27:00.000-04:002006-07-06T18:38:12.410-04:00

This weekend was another one of those "Celebrity Birthday Cake" weekends. Danhole and I were going to make up for a ton of slacking that happened in April and May due to weddings and other uncontrollable events (ha). Come to think of it, it's a wonder anyone made it out alive during those months. Anyway, here is the list of the celebrity birthdays close to our small, cold hearts that were

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1151060975966927952006-06-22T23:31:00.000-04:002006-06-23T23:55:22.076-04:00

I try to keep my therapy background nonexistent at work and assorted other situations, for the very reason that often when someone hears that I am/was/will again be a therapist, I get put into one of two very convenient little boxes: the "Pity" box, and the "Oh, well, then you can help me with this then, right?" box.The latter of these two seems to be the main factor in random people at work

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1150947811637155672006-06-21T23:19:00.000-04:002006-06-25T09:53:09.746-04:00

And this time, I'm actually not talking about Vartan or Vaughn. (Somewhere in Europe, Lengli has to sit down and ponder whether she should smack me.)I'm talking about the Boy Wonder. Number 10 for England and Newcastle. Mr. "I Rock the Lavender Turtleneck Like It's Nobody's Business.""That's me. Right-o!"(Lucky for you, I won't torture you with the turtleneck this soon after its original

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1149293899038955422006-06-13T23:23:00.000-04:002006-06-26T17:56:01.486-04:00

What follows are the last three of the Six Weird Things From My Childhood.If you missed the first three, for discontinuity's sake, scroll to the post below so you can be brought up to speed.And yes, I realize it's been almost two weeks since the first part, but I've been swamped, and I promise that I did start this half the next day. So, be happy. Or at least, get over it.Party Line.Ask anyone,

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1149136374063606922006-06-01T21:17:00.000-04:002006-06-07T06:31:12.193-04:00

As decreed by the Sweat O' The Arm, I must relay to you Six Weird Things From My Childhood, broken up into two parts.If I can think of six things, that will be a victory in itself.Why I Hate Model Rockets (Sort Of).When I was four, living in the wilds of Passaic, the family took an excursion out to Bradlee's for some fun family shopping time. I remember wearing a little yellow gingham shirt that

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1149044807315630082006-05-30T21:11:00.000-04:002006-06-01T23:48:13.703-04:00

At long last, one of you has asked "What the shit is going on with the blog entry titles?"(You all can thank good ol' Armsweat for showing your lazy asses up. And they even called her "Doofus Baby," for Christ's sake. "Doofus Baby" drinkin' a Bud, no less! You should all be ashamed!)Well, here's the answer: Each of the last seven entry titles has been a song lyric, in the order they are in the

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1148618713239755432006-05-26T00:25:00.000-04:002006-05-26T19:27:08.966-04:00

I'm going to have a little caption party before going to sleep. Who's with me?"Hey, remember we used to date, and then we broke up, then you started dating Ben Affleck, then you got pregnant, then married, then they worked your pregnancy into the story line, so you were carrying my character's baby, but then I got killed off the show, then brought back because so many people missed my Frenchie

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1148608050967200182006-05-25T20:54:00.000-04:002006-07-20T23:15:11.730-04:00

I'm waiting, just waiting, for one of you jackballs to ask me what the hell is up with the entry titles lately.(...Still waiting...)Eh, fuck it. If you ask, you ask. On with the show!So, this feels like the longest month in the history of months. I think it could have to do with job disenchantment. It could have to do with being broke all the time. All I know is that this weekend coming up

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1148501314538687772006-05-24T16:08:00.000-04:002006-05-24T22:07:16.410-04:00

I don't know why this took so long to get up on here, since I recorded this last night. Oh, well. I guess this is what happens when you try to audio blog using Skype. Anyway, the poor-sounding audio clip below is actually from Tuesday night, mourning Alias in my inimitable quasi-Faulknerian babble. Nothing near as hallucinogenic as Lisa's Adventures with Ambien, but what are you going to do?

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1148186040311046732006-05-22T19:26:00.000-04:002006-05-23T23:13:24.663-04:00

Just so you know, what follows below is all Danhole's fault.Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0created with QuizFarm.comYou scored as Maximus. After his family was murdered by the evil emperor Commodus, the great Roman general Maximus went into hiding to avoid Commodus's assassins. He became a gladiator, hoping to dominate the colosseum in order to one day get the chance of killing Commodus.

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1148005724048186922006-05-18T19:55:00.000-04:002006-05-31T12:21:49.130-04:00

Ah, must get over this negative cloud hovering today... As you may have seen from my previous post (now below this one), I have been in a foul mood today. To remedy this, I shall present myself (and a good percentage of my viewing public) some much-needed Eye Candy:Because concentration is... hot.Because "the cut" is... hot.Because Grammaton Clerics are... hot.Because a Limey footballer who is

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1147976348717491632006-05-18T14:16:00.000-04:002006-05-18T19:34:56.560-04:00

I hate getting volunteered for crap.I was sitting in the Cube O' Doom, happily typing away, when Cap'n Asshat (hopefully, I devote no more energy to explaining his shenanigans in the future) walked through the door. He asked my co-worker if she was planning on attending some bullshit committee meeting already in progress. This co-worker replied that she was no longer a part of that committee,

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943927.post-1147808514629046742006-05-16T14:56:00.000-04:002006-05-16T15:42:00.053-04:00

So tired. So bloated. So ready to have a job a lot like my old one (minus the bullshit, so, good luck with that one, right?).Today is actually going... okay. Other than the occasional idiot (both on the phone and in-house), it's been bearable. I'm still recovering from spending most of the weekend in the car due to the trip to Stumpy's South Carolina Nuptial Extravaganza on Saturday.It was

Smackadociousnoreply@blogger.com0